Where Am I Not Being Honest with Myself?
Hey Selfists, Tamika here!
Self-honesty is one of the hardest things to practice, yet it’s the foundation of real growth. We spend so much time trying to convince ourselves that we’re okay, that things aren’t that bad, or that we’re doing our best—when deep down, we know there’s more to the story.
But here’s the truth: You can’t heal what you won’t admit. You can’t elevate if you keep lying to yourself about what’s keeping you stuck.
So, let’s get real. Where are you not being honest with yourself?
1. Are You Ignoring Red Flags?
Red flags don’t just show up in relationships; they appear in careers, friendships, habits, and even in how we treat ourselves. Are you tolerating things you shouldn’t? Making excuses for people? Settling in places where you know you deserve more?
Self-check:
- Do I feel drained, unappreciated, or stuck in certain relationships?
- Am I pretending to be okay with things that actually hurt me?
- Am I ignoring my intuition because the truth is inconvenient?
If something doesn’t feel right, trust that feeling. Honesty starts with listening to yourself.
2. Are You Procrastinating on Your Own Potential?
You say you want better, but are you putting in the work? Or are you just talking about it? Many of us convince ourselves that we’re “waiting for the right time,” but deep down, we know we’re just afraid.
Self-check:
- What’s one thing I’ve been putting off that I KNOW would improve my life?
- Am I using “I don’t have time” as an excuse, or am I just not prioritizing it?
- If fear wasn’t a factor, what would I do right now?
Growth isn’t comfortable. It will stretch you, challenge you, and force you to face yourself. But staying the same? That’s even more painful in the long run.
3. Are You Owning Your Role in Your Problems?
Tough love moment: Sometimes, we are the problem. Not always, but enough that it’s worth asking—how am I contributing to my own struggles?
Self-check:
- Am I blaming others instead of taking responsibility?
- Am I repeating the same toxic patterns and expecting different results?
- Do I surround myself with people who push me to grow, or those who enable my excuses?
Accountability isn’t about shame. It’s about empowerment. Because once you own your part, you can change it.
4. Are You Lying to Yourself About What Makes You Happy?
Sometimes, we chase things because they look good on paper, not because they fulfill us. The job, the relationship, the lifestyle—does it actually bring you joy, or are you just going through the motions?
Self-check:
- When was the last time I felt truly happy and free?
- Am I living for myself or for the expectations of others?
- If I had no fear, what life would I create for myself?
Happiness requires honesty. You deserve a life that excites you, not one that just looks good to everyone else.
The Power of Owning Your Truth
Being honest with yourself isn’t easy. It’s uncomfortable, humbling, and sometimes even painful. But it’s also the most liberating thing you can do. Because once you face the truth, you can finally do something about it.
So, I challenge you: Pick one area of your life where you haven’t been honest with yourself and call it out. Not with shame, but with love. With the understanding that facing it is the first step to freeing yourself from it.
Growth starts with truth. And your truth will set you free.
How does this feel? Anything you’d like me to add or change? 💛